Happiness in a COVID-19 induced long distance relationship

My husband is happy – that’s all you really want in a marriage, for your partner to be happy.

You do what you can to help make them happy. Love and support them all you want but ultimately after a while you realise that you alone can’t make them happy.

But right now my husband is happy. And I’m happy, he’s happy.

Of course, I know he’d be happier if we were able to be together right now and that he misses me like crazy, but a COVID-19 induced long distance relationship seems unavoidable for the moment and he’s focused on what he has got rather than what he hasn’t (i.e. me).

He finally has the freedom, the time, space and gear he needs to pursue his dreams.

He lives in a country and city he adores and no longer feels the need to escape his life every six weeks or so like we used to. 

He’s fit, healthy and looking after himself and looking great for it. 

I’ve always thought his guitar playing was outstanding but, ever the perfectionist, he’s not always been happy with his level. This year, he’s had time to focus on his chops and his playing is incredible and he’s banging out awesome licks for fun and enjoying it.

He’s been learning Spanish and has worked hard at it and is getting really good.

We moved to Spain to change our lives and lifestyle for the better. And it worked. Kinda…

Two lock downs haven’t dampened his love for Spain, it’s now home and where he wants to be. He doesn’t want to risk leaving and not being able to return. While ironically, I’m nervous about returning and getting stuck for several months.

Despite living in the epicentre of COVID-19 twice now – he’s finding the silver linings and is flourishing.

Madrid has been confined for the past month or so, and signs are that Spain may be under state of alarm for some time yet, possibly until May 2021.

Thankfully, that doesn’t change his day to day life all that much, he spends most of his time working in the studio, goes for a run and enjoys an occasional beer in the Retiro park and gigs – while few and far between and start much earlier – are still happening just.

The confinement or state of emergency does, however, restrict movements in and out of Madrid and makes travel to and from Spain more tricky.

I set up my business to work overseas and come back to Spain in between. Right now that model isn’t really that feasible.

As a result I’ve barely spent 2 months in Spain with my husband this year but I have been able to maintain, possibly grow, my business in the middle of a pandemic, see more of my friends and family all over the world than I previously would have done and get fitter than I’ve been in years. And as I don’t really do chill, I’m starting the study for my final WSET Diploma wine exam in May 2021, which will be here before I know it. 

I’m super proud of how hard my husband is working, how he is thriving in the place we decided to call home, I’m happy my husband is happy.

But God COVID-19 sucks. I’d be happier if we could be in the same country as each other right now, and both pursue our dreams without something having to give or be put on hold, but I guess COVID-19 had other plans for us this year…

Being philosophical though, 20 years into a relationship, what’s a year in the grand scheme of things right! When all this is over, we’ll hopefully have all the time in the world together and both be financially, professionally and physically in better shape to take on the next chapter together. And if the past year or so has taught us anything, it’s about enjoying life while you can, who knows what the future holds…