Eating and drinking my way through life and learning all the while

So I did an erotica shoot and why I think you should too!

So I did an erotica shoot, and why I think you should too! I’ve been umming and ahhing about whether to share this story or not, but fuck it.  I did an erotica shoot, boudoir shoot, whatever you want to call it and it felt good, liberating and I’m super proud of the pictures that came out of it.

I didn’t plan to do this. I actually started looking for some new business profile pictures as the old ones didn’t look like me any more. But as I hate having my picture taken I was looking for someone who could ease me into the shoot and find the bit of me that’s photogenic and make the experience less painful and awkward.

While looking through some recommendations I received, I stumbled across a photographer who specialised in female portraiture and I found myself more interested in the boudoir side of things than the business branding.

I started looking into this more and many erotica or boudoir photographers tend to pride themselves on incredible makeovers. This may sound egotistical but I wasn’t looking for a massive makeover, I wanted to capture a moment in time, when for the first time in a long time I felt objectively hot!

I wanted to take some pictures for my own sake not to satisfy the male gaze and use them as my own fitspiration. I’d gotten fit by accident – lockdown, curfew and large stretches of time away from home solo – meant plenty of time to exercise, sleep well and look after myself – and the results showed. Before I descended back into the usual routine of work and play and potentially lose all my good habits – I wanted remember what my body can look like when I take care of myself and maybe this would avoid me yo-yoing from healthy to bad and back again.

So I booked the shoot, I had a ton of lingerie I’d accumulated over the past year following the revelation pretty little bras now fit me and I did it!

I was a little worried the make up was too much, I wanted to still look like me. But me on a real good day. But Ariel assured me it would look great on camera and it did. I loved how he styled my hair too and embraced my crazy curls rather than try and tame them.

I did a zoom pre consult with Andreaa – she was incredible and I felt super comfortable with her – she used to be a fashion photographer, is super chilled and we connected a lot about life’s journey and our views on self discovery. I sent her a long list of pics I loved, many taken from the IG of lingerie brands I loved and also heavily borrowed from a friend’s IG which posts a lot of cool, fun erotica pics, I’d been experimenting with recreating for a while. Blame, pandemic boredom!

I told my husband about the shoot – he was under no illusion this shoot was for him, but if the shots turned out well I was going to get him a printed book of his hot wife for his birthday. I convinced him this would be better than a vintage guitar or amp, no mean feat!

I poured myself a martini and got started with the shoot. It was fun, liberating and just plain funny at times! I embraced a different side of myself and had fun doing so.

A few days later we met to review the pics – and select my favs; they were hot! Artistic and cool. 

I can honestly say it was a cool experience, something I think is worth investing in for yourself rather than a man. Although sure any man in your life will love the results. I’m super proud of those shots, and very tempted to do another shoot with more time and perhaps be even more daring.

Any ladies reading this, if you want to see the pics – to see if this is something you want for you, message me and I’ll share and try not to mentally scar you – Les can’t unsee some of the ones I shared – sorry Les!

Here’s a couple of the tamer, internet friendly pics as a taster!

Andreea B. Ballen Photography – Boudoir natural light portrait NYC – Boudoir Photographer NYC
Andreea B. Ballen Photography – Boudoir natural light portrait NYC – Boudoir Photographer NYC
Andreea B. Ballen Photography – Boudoir natural light portrait NYC – Boudoir Photographer NYC

It’s took me 30 odd years to be comfortable in my own skin, I love the fact there are imperfections, dimples, strange tan lines – these are all me. I didn’t want a version of me that had been airbrushed within an inch of myself. I wanted to celebrate my body, what I’d achieved and use it to inspire me to take good care of it moving forward. I’m glad I did it, I hope this saves me from yo-yo ing and putting self care bottom of the pile of priorities – I want to continue looking this hot for some time to come!

I drafted this a few months ago and I have only just got around to posting it. So as I look back at these pictures now I think they were very much about a moment in time. My body has changed a lot since (in a good way – so the fitspiration part definitely worked) and so has my mind and confidence. I’m still kinda tempted to do another shoot later this year during #ScorpioSeason and capture a different moment in time! A different me that keeps evolving. 

To learn more about the Boudoir shoot process – check out Andreaa’s website she really is ace.


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